Whenever we are at a trade show or expo, we often hear the phrases
My partner can do that
That's what I'm there for
I don't want a doula to take over my role
Rest assured, a doula is not there to take over and you're absolutely right; there's nothing that we know how to do that makes us any better than your birth partner.
What is also true, and often not communicated, is that doula support extends to the birth partner during labour and birth.
If your partner needs to step out, grab a coffee, get some sleep, communicate with family about labour progress, your doula can step in to alleviate their role and ensure that mom is continuously supported.
Additionally, watching the woman you love going through the various stages of labour can be difficult. It's emotional and draining for both parents. A doula can take a bit of the pressure off, support both mom and partner, keep the atmosphere as calm as possible.
And if anything were to go wrong, your doula is there as a constant that you both can focus on. She will prompt you to ask questions, relay information to you, make sure that you understand what is happening and support whatever decisions you make during birth.
After the birth, your doula stays in contact during the first six weeks to ensure a smooth transition into parenting. Lines of communication are open for both parents, and partners are encouraged to let the doula know of any behavioral differences or when they need help as a new parent as well.
We are there for support, however that looks for the parents at the time.