Since our miscarriage in August, I have spoken openly about the emotional turmoil, grief and guilt that have come along with the physical changes. I have talked about not understanding why this happened, blaming myself for pushing my body too hard and wanting so badly to have changed the outcome. By now, we would have known the gender and would be narrowing down names on our plentiful list.
Support from the online community has been incredible, , but having been through this once, my heart breaking thinking those couples who have been through miscarriage multiple times. Infertility and miscarriage are emotionally, physically and sometimes financially draining too. Did you know that 1 in 6 people struggle with infertility? On a full capacity standard city bus, that means that 13 of the people you are riding with are struggling with infertility. Sort of puts it into perspective, doesn’t it?
I have gotten to know some very beautiful women who have reached out during our struggle, and have told me about their own battle. Many of these women have fertility experts who have recommended that in vitro fertilization is the medically necessary treatment to help them conceive. Did you know that there is no OHIP funding for IVF (unless both tubes are blocked), and typically it can set the couple back $8000 to $10,000 per treatment? Many families transfer multiple embryos in the belief it will increase their chances of conceiving. While multiples are adorable, they typically wind up costing the health care system a great deal more than a healthy single baby.
One of the most powerful things that we can do for our future children is to advocate for ourselves, as women. OHIP funding would mean not only saving a couple monetary stress and hardship, but also result in fewer high risk pregnancies and reduce instance of multiple births, allowing for healthier pregnancies and healthier moms.
In Canada, Quebec is currently the only province that publicly funds IVF. Many other areas of the world invest in healthy outcomes by funding IVF. In Australia there is a successful public funding model for IVF that has helped patients deliver healthy babies. In Ontario, we know that 73 % of residents surveyed support public funding for IVF. Still infertile people struggle and many will give up on the dream of becoming family in this province. It makes me so sad to think that our options to become parents are so few.
I encourage you to find your voice. Speak out about what you have been through. Talk about your miscarriage, or fertility struggles, reach out and find support within your community, and turn your experience into something beautiful. Support other women dealing with infertility.
The story of my miscarriage has resonated with so many women, and I am thankful that they have reached out and shared their own stories with me. We all have found ways to cope, and in our own time, have and will get through a struggle that breaks our hearts. The grief is real, the guilt is real and being silent about it is not the answer.
Find your voice.
Disclaimer: I am a valued member of the Conceivable Dreams blog team. I have been paid for this post. My opinion, advocacy and story are 100 % my own.
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